Disclosing Mental Health Struggles to Children: A Simple and Honest Approach
Mental health is an important part of our lives, just like our physical health. Struggles with mental health can affect how we think, feel, and act. When an adult in the family is dealing with mental health challenges, it can be hard to decide whether or how to talk about it with children. While discussing such topics may feel scary or uncomfortable, it can also be an opportunity to teach kids about empathy, understanding, and resilience.
Children are naturally curious, and they are quite good at noticing things. If a parent, grandparent, or other loved one is acting differently or seems sad, tired, or upset, kids are likely to pick up on these changes. Leaving them in the dark about what’s happening might confuse or worry them. That’s why, in many cases, being open with children about mental health can help them feel less anxious and more connected to you.
Here’s what you need to know about explaining mental health struggles to children, broken down in a way that’s simple and easy to follow.
Why Share?
Honesty builds trust. If you’re open about your experiences in a way that a child can understand, they will feel included and reassured. Keeping secrets or avoiding the topic might make them feel unsure or even guilty, because kids are sometimes quick to blame themselves for things they don’t understand.
Sharing your mental health struggles doesn’t mean giving every detail or burdening children with information. It’s about finding the right balance: being honest while also keeping the conversation age-appropriate and reassuring.
When Should You Talk About It?
There’s no right or wrong time to talk—it often depends on the situation and the child. Use a time when you’re calm and can focus on the conversation; avoid bringing it up during moments of stress or frustration.
If your struggles are already affecting daily life or your interactions with the child, it’s probably a good time to start the conversation. For example, you might sense that your child is noticing changes in your mood or habits, or maybe they’re asking questions like, “Why are you sad?” or “Why don’t we play like we used to?”
How to Explain Mental Health to Kids
The way you explain mental health depends on the child’s age and ability to understand. For very young children, keep things simple and avoid using complex terms. For older kids, you might add a little more detail but still focus on clear, easy-to-understand explanations.
Here are some tips:
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Use Comparisons They Already Know
Children understand physical health—they know about getting sick, having a cold, or recovering from a scrape on their knee. You can use these ideas to explain mental health. For example, you might say:
“You know how sometimes people get sick or have a tummy ache? Well, just like our bodies can get hurt or sore, our minds can feel that way too. Right now, my mind is having a tough time, but I’m taking steps to feel better.” -
Be Honest but Reassuring
Share what’s going on in a truthful way, but emphasize that you’re working toward healing. For example:
“Lately, I’ve been feeling really sad and tired because I’m having some trouble with my mental health. It’s nothing for you to worry about—I’m getting help, and there are people who care about me and are helping me feel better.” -
Avoid Complicated Words
Terms like “depression,” “anxiety,” or “therapy” might be unfamiliar to kids. Instead, use language they can grasp:
“I’ve been feeling very worried/sad/upset, and sometimes it’s hard for me to feel happy. That’s called a mental health problem, and it’s something lots of people deal with.” -
Welcome Questions
Kids might ask, “Will you always feel this way?” or “Why did this happen?” Answer their questions as best you can, while keeping it simple. If you don’t know the answer, it’s okay to say, “That’s a good question, and I’m not sure—but I’m learning more and getting help.”
What Happens Next?
After the conversation, continue to show them that you’re working to take care of yourself. Seeing you talk openly and take steps to improve your mental health teaches children valuable lessons about self-care and resilience.
Encourage them to open up about their own feelings, too. This can create a family environment where emotions are okay to share, and no one has to pretend everything is perfect all the time.
What If You’re Not Ready to Share?
It’s okay if the timing isn’t right. You can start small, simply by saying:
“I’ve been feeling different lately, and I might need extra rest or time to work through some things. But I love you and I’m always here for you.”
This lets kids know something is going on without overwhelming them.
A Final Thought
Talking about mental health doesn’t need to be scary. The key is to keep it simple, honest, and loving. By opening up about your struggles, you’re helping children understand that it’s okay not to be okay sometimes—and that the important thing is working toward feeling better. They’ll learn valuable lessons about empathy, resilience, and how to seek help when they need it someday.
Remember, you don’t have to do it alone. You can ask for support from a therapist, counselor, or trusted friend to guide you through these conversations. Mental health is a journey, and sharing it with your children can make your family stronger together.